A response to Peter Costea's '66.6 Hours in Norway'

I’m a Norwegian teacher, and a parent of a 12-year-old. My response is not going to be about Barnevernet, or whether they’re right or wrong. My response is going to be about some of the bizarre claims you make about Norway as a whole.

If I weren’t born and raised in Norway, your report would have made me assume our king’s name was something like King Jong-un. Of course his name is Harald, and he doesn’t have anything to say when it comes to politics.

While here, you took the trip from Oslo to Bergen, a stretch of road that slithers like a snake between some of Europe’s tallest mountains and most spectacular glaciers.

Your conclusion? Norway has no freeways.

I hereby invite you to spend a couple of your next 66.6 hours in Norway at my place. We could order some Big Macs from the McDonald’s next door, and spend the night counting cars passing by on the four lane freeway outside my living room window. You’ll be disappointed to know though, that I use central heating. Yes, we do have that here. It’s a shame, because ovens are so much cozier.

I don’t know about the shopping mall in Bergen, but the one next door… never seen buckets there. But then again, Bergen goes by the name ‘City of Rain’, so it could be a tourist attraction.

When reading your report, I get somewhat concerned that I’m not doing my job properly. See, over the last few years, I’ve had countless conversations with my pupils and their parents. And I don’t recall ever asking them about what they talk about when they eat dinner. Or what they eat and drink for dinner, for that matter. Myself, I usually serve my daughter pizza or pasta or tacos or whatever. Never tasted lutefisk, and we drink coke with every meal. More specifically Coke Zero (great taste, zero sugar), just in case Barnevernet should come knocking on our door...

Another reason why I’m starting to doubt whether I’m doing my job properly, is because I’ve never sent out any birthday invitations on behalf of my pupils. I’ve heard that some schools recommend that if you plan to hand out birthday invitations at school, you invite either all the girls or all the boys (or both) in your class to make sure no desk is left empty - to avoid bullying and social isolation. I think it’s a good idea; however, if you don’t, you could always hand out those invitations after school…

Then there’s the pornography thing. «Starting at age twelve (12), they are shown pornography. At school.» What the h***? (Don’t worry, Hell is a national park in Norway. It actually is. Another proof of our fall from grace, I suppose.)

My daughter is 12, and I don’t even think she knows what pornography is. But what do I know? Maybe her teachers have instructed her not to tell her parents… Anyway, last time I checked, the age limit for watching pornography in Norway is 18.

Talking about law and justice: You claim that «unlike in the United States, Norway’s citizens are presumed guilty and not the other way around.» If that’s the case, how come you have an incarceration rate (prisoners per 100 000 population) of 698, and ours is 71? PS: ‘Making a Murderer’ (about the presumed guilty American Steve Avery) was a very popular series here…

However, what puzzles me most about your report, is the sequence about how children, when they reach the age of 14, are supposedly required to have «free time» each day. «During the «free time» parents are not allowed to ask intrusive questions of the children, such as what are you doing, where are you going, what are you watching?

Parents are also not allowed to ask their children questions related to their sexual lives or activities. During the «free hours» parents cannot assign any chores to the children. The «free time» is designed, I was told, to allow the teenagers to «discover themselves» and their «identity».» End of quote.

I am shocked. I am a teacher and a parent, having lived my entire life in Norway, and I have never, ever, EVER heard about what you refer to as «free time».

It seems to me that most teenagers spend their time off doing homework and on different activities such as soccer, gaming or even church groups.

So I don’t know who told you this, but hey: I’ve been to your country a couple of times, as well. For more than 66.6 hours, by the way. (I did go on the Route 66 though!) And I’ve met a couple of… in lack of better words… weirdos there. They told me some strange things about your country. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m a teacher, and am aware of - just like a lawyer should be - that you don’t make a judgement based on only hearing one side of the story (and may I add, in this case, a very doubtable story), I might have come back to Norway and produced a report like yours and made it look like the USA was North Korea. (Come on, you’ve got a lot of people imprisoned, death penalty, patriotism, double rainbows... and Donald Trump.) But it wouldn’t be honest, would it?

The honest thing to do would be to do some serious research and listen to both sides before making a judgement. But you’re a lawyer, of course. And to lawyers, it’s never been about the truth. It’s always been about winning the case.

You say we’re ungodly because we allow gays to marry and so on. I say it’s ungodly to lie.